Tears drop down….

When eyes are filled with tears and you are choking thinking about your beloved mother who was dearer than yourself. How much you loved and wanted to be with her, talk and laugh together. So many hurdles were then making you stay apart, and one day she left forever. No goodbyes, no hugs, no tap on the back. Just for a second I could smell that fragrance and it was gone. I called out..so loud and cried so long, yet I couldn’t make my mother hear..my last wish ..was to be near.IMG-20200303-WA0002

My dear mumma, I promised myself to be a good person so that when I die I could meet you at heaven’s gate. You will greet me as always, with a smile and nod of head.

 

 

 

My sweet mother

Mother

My loving and sweet mother left us forever on 9th May 2020. She was my favorite. I loved her and respected her with all my heart. Since my father died on 10th April 1980, I was her moral support. Wiping away her tears and telling her joke. My mission in life was,”Keep mumma smiling” forever. As long as I could, I told her jokes, got her things, gave her boost, listened to everything she had to say..and she said almost everything to me.

She was an Architect, graduated with Hons from A.I.T. Kharaghpur, 1967. She worked for sometime with Louis Kahn, while he was in Dhaka.

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yes, she is there in saree. Always working with dedication and passion. Her design was flawless and interesting. She always liked to design spaces in levels, huge spaces was her trade mark. People would feel so happy to move in the buildings she had designed.

My mother worked since 1967 till 2015, a long time but she was happy when she was working. I was her assistant at all times, drafting was my part and little bit of suggestions from my end was also incorporated. I was her helper in driving too, I would dust her car before she would start to drive, then take out her glasses from her purse..I was with her ..and I was so happy…now I am feeling lonely…I can no longer call ” Mumma” I can not hear her..call me…I will never be able to see her..hug her..tease her..and make her laugh. Hold her hands and walk..I will never smile with her again..I can not accept this loss..although she died quickly and easily..I believe she is in a better place..I pray for her daily..she is with me in my thoughts..but my heart doesn’t beat the rhythm that she was the tune..I have lost my mother..I can not accept it..it hurts too much..it will hurt too long..because she in not coming back..

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More than love

More than love is my love for you

A feeling of happiness that feels so true

An inner gush of ocean is my love for you

A wild fire in autumn that burns through

A winter freezing breeze that bites too

A thundering rain soaking through

All together in a heart that’s true

More than love is my love for you.

 

The lonely writer is never alone.

Readers keep him amused and loved

Writing comments longer than his verse

Mostly women are his followers as I see

Lonely writer is perfect for thee

There is no wife at his end to be

Checking, complaining, yelling or all three

He is available to laugh and even climb a tree

Lonely writer is never alone nor free

His writings are funny and attractive is his face

There is an attraction , in his gaze

Sky is the limit and relaxing is he

Lonely writer we all admire thee

Life before and after pandemic crisis

Although Covid19 started in December,2019 we will remember it as it marked our lives in 2020. Lots of people were wishing Happy New Year 2020, excited about 20-20 digit. Suddenly, the smiling faces turned into worrisome pouting expression. The entire economy came to stand still. The labor class were worst hit, in every aspect of life. They couldn’t survive living in cities nor could they find any help in rural settings. Slowly, it was realized that efforts to curb this menace can not be on lock down , a quick and effective invention of medication is of utmost importance.

Disinfecting the cities started. The new hope of having a possible medicine for Covid19, has made life a little better. We, at least know there can be a way to stop the infection.

Many learned professionals are perhaps already writing in detail and in depth studies on human behavior, economies nose diving and flying off, market share falling and getting captured by few investors, clean air, pollution from flights decreased and fare increased due to social distance.

It is revealed to us, that covering our mouth, nose, hands and feet is protecting our bodies from germs in the surrounding.Those who were wearing hijabs were always protected 😉 , wearing clothes that cover your body is healthy :).

Family life and having time at home is a way to know each other. In routine life we just exchange information, now was a time to exchange views. At some instance it led to fights too, that wasn’t much of a help.

We the residents of global village became active on social media, lots of prayers and comfort were pouring in, along with blame game, of who started the virus. Another debate was, is it man made or genetically evolved. There were questions and answers, all mostly till now guesstimate. After, people will research and declare their findings then only we will know what?, how?, who?,when? and where?

People die daily, alarming was the rate and solo reason for deaths. Numbers were scary and hopelessness about recovery procedure was the main reason for panic.

Let us hope, as a global village, we will benefit more from lessons learned due to pandemic.

Two Mirrors in a room

I step in a space between two mirrors and see my reflection within a reflection. Stretching endlessly, as if I will disappear but I remain an image in both. As, I turn from one to another to have a little fun in this lock down. I can not tell others what fun it is to play alone, it amuses me and I know that it is silly.

Life is full of mirrors, each show us how we are placed in time. Somewhere we  are endless, somewhere we are diminishing in our size,stature and position. As, we cross the images , we know exactly, how we looked in each phase. And the reality is that we can not see ourselves without a mirror, that is exactly how we are seen in life, by another person’s eye.

In memory lane- 2020

A life lived, with laughter and tears

Moments we cherished

Moments we feared

But nothing was like this pandemic..Oh dear

Numbers of victims increased everywhere

All over the world taking tolls  was clear

Deaths, sickness has marked this year.

We will always remember 2020 for it’s fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

waterfall in dreams

Eyes were closed and mind released

a waterfall that was dreamed

so soothing in peace

I am alone and submerged

I can feel the coolness that surrounds

I close my eyes in my dream

I dream again and see a light

It makes me shine at night

I am trying to hold it tight

but..then I am awakened

I still can feel as I did in dream.

Raining today

Since early morning the sky is cloudy

The breeze is fresh and cool

Feels so good 🙂

Parrots are hidden behind the leaves

But wait..I can see them sitting on top of tree

Love the parrots

love the trees

love the soft breeze.

Brings a smile to me.