Silence is my companion

In this world where I live and work. I find it impossible to share my inner thoughts and feelings with anyone.Those who surround me and not listening. They are eager to correct, criticize and judge. All replies are No, don’t and oh no. In this situation can I be honest? I have to say what they want to hear. Smile is fake and words have lost their meaning.

I want to stop and be honest. Yet, I know my audience. They are not ready to listen only. When ever I am trying to share the person in front is looking past me,am I invisible or absent. This attitude is disturbing but I can not show my irritation, they will not accept it. For them I am a multi channel entertainment program. Who must switch on to something melodious or funny. Nothing boring and crazy.

I ask myself, how long will this charade last? Perhaps death will silent me. Then a real silence will be my companion.

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Mind in trouble

Mind is very tricky

Tells that I am picky

I trouble the worry bubble

Till it bursts with force

No one gets hurt other than troubles

It can’t then double or scare me

I boast, no trouble anymore.

In the end

Everything and everyone will end

Enemies as well as friends

Some will change heart

Some will die

You will remember or forget

Their love and passion

Their hatred and vision

You will end it

Or they will my friend

Remember while you are still around

In love with no limit or bond

You must live in full

Others may push or pull

Be true and sweet

Like a wonderful treat.

Come softly in my dreams

Eyes closed I sleep

So deep in peace

All night it’s dark and quiet

I seldom have any fright

Don’t come with ugly fights

Don’t argue on wrong and right

If you really want to come

Make it sweet and warm

Don’t forget it’s my time

My night, my bed my sleep

So please come softly in my dreams

Come to meet me:-)

Searching eyes

Search for you and when you appear suddenly my eyes lit up and smile. You and only you have taught me how to love.

I feel free and happiness know no boundaries whenever you walk into my space, you make it a moment of love.

Why will I not pray for the heart that made me feel true love in real.

My eyes they search your face and read the deep love for me today as always:,-)

Whenever I set foot in your life

I pass by without knocking on doors

I never acknowledge that I know

You and your feelings anymore

It gives you comfort I am sure

I will not disturb rest assured

Earlier my absence made you sad

Now my presence makes you mad

Change of heart fright

How I remain miserable at night

Will you ever know

June is here

Half the year is gone just as life. What have I done till now? The resolution for this year is still on yet I have taken many starts like ignition. All ready and then the energy vanished. I am still trying,so let me aloud repeat the resolution for 2019.

1/ Get a job/ project as an Architect. Did try but I think that my portfolio needs to improve. So, I am thinking about creating a new one.

2/ Loose weight. I did shed but not enough.

3/ Clean the store room. Asked my husband to help but he is still finding relevant excuses. So I will wait, never clean by yourself because anything goes missing it will be blamed on me ;).

4/ Learn Bengali. Learning the numbers. Started writing consonants but let me acknowledge , you need to have artistic handwriting or you will make a blunder.

I don’t know how much will be possible in next six months. The way I am not much can I expect from myself. Self evaluation is always tough. You can lie to yourself but then it’s disappointing. Will I make it happen or not. Come December if I am around I will review.