Missing mother

I miss my mother every day

whenever I raise my hands to pray

I miss her now just as I missed that day

I never can find a way

I will not miss her is something hard to say

And so I pass my days

Missing my mother everyday

Left silently with a smile

Lonely heart departs in fear

No last glances, no smiles nor a tear

Shattered life with a blow unseen

lonely heart is waiting in dream

Hearts are broken when held too tight

I will never put on light for dark nights

Did not destroy nor left me alive

How it pierced like a knife

I am in between a kiss and a dip

Will I get your hands

or will I slip

tries to smile but fails instead

My cherished memories

All of us love their mother and I am no exception. There are many memories with my mumma, I used to tickle her on neck and she would laugh. I would kiss her cheeks and look lovingly in her eyes and she would smile. To ask her for favors, I would repeated call her, mumma, mumma…. and she will ask ,what do you have in mind? I would then ask for anything and she will decide on it’s merits.

I was her prized possession, a daughter who could be dressed up pretty, a little one who adored her and wanted to be associated with her. A child who almost never said ,”no”.

Always trying to please. It was a loving relationship, that was based on respect and trust. My mother understood her role in my life, from child steps to education and finally marriage. She handled me with care,as if I was fragile. She made me tough and bold, she made me confident and solid . All that she had in her, she taught me too.

My mother gave me financial, emotional and social support till she died. Now that I don’t have her daily prayers in my life, I feel so sad. I was asked by my mumma, “Please pray for me, my child your prayers are normally accepted,” I am praying for you, mumma just as you asked me to, with tears and genuine feelings.

Please God, keep my mumma happy and give her a very comfortable and lively place in heaven. She was my heaven and you took her, so I have a heart that cries profusely, but still I pray with the hope that in exchange for my grief, God will give my mumma all that is better than the best. Aameen.

My mother is in Blue Saree standing next to me. I received Gold Medal in Architecture and my Eldest brother is standing behind me, he too got a Gold Medal in Architecture.

Crisis -2020..Virus War (VW)

There were many unrest and protest ongoing , wars and crime. Suddenly, there was Covid19 and the fear of pandemic, somehow made this world see some peace. Now, that we are closing for a return to normal, again all the unrest has marked this comeback, for example the protest in America.

It is flaring and raging, seems like the lock down has made people frustrated, their economic pressure release was this protest. People are now voicing concern more for protest and less for Corona virus.

The death rate has actually increased due to virus, still due to economic pressures the lock down has been loosened. The staying away solution was causing side effects. It seems, we the earthlings should now have a different norm, in terms of defensive devices from diseases. Our entrance, exits, touches, wipes .In fact any contact that has a chance to spread unseen virus must be eliminated, designers have provided options with seating arrangement, hats to maintain a distance, automatic doors and so on. What about chemical warfare? Has anyone put a hold on the lab that creates deadly combinations to wipe out nations. Guess not. Because it wasn’t on the list.

This virus war, VW is this generations weapon. But the problem is , no one can control it. Had they been able to control who the virus will effect, then it would classify as a weapon but now it is pandemic.

I think, there will be many new viruses in the making, maybe the pharmaceutical companies will finance it, or to control the world market shares investors may device a particular virus that dies in cold or hot, and lives in rainy seasons..I don’t know but the virus is like a weapon that will not vanish with the eradication of Covid19.

Nowadays there are so many theories circulating, regarding who is vulnerable so that marks a target. In future, it will be designed to attack certain types only, globalization has made the transportation easier of ideas, goods and viruses too.

Where was I

In thoughts
in fear
in hearts far and near
in whispers
did you hear?
I was in you
in laughter
in tears
in sighs
in sight
in line
in dot
in dreams
in shots
I was in you
in heart
in soul
we got hot
we got cold
yet death did not take control
I live again..with lots unsaid .untold

Happy New Year 2017

Last year was good
this year.too 🙂
what do you hold for me 2017?
Tears or pain
Laughter driving me insane
Dreams that makes my day
or nightmare stretched to days
Will it make or break
Will the year be better
or worst than last
Can not tell till future gets to past

Come smile with me

I will happily
each day
each night
Yes..if you start
will smile and send
warmth to feel
that happiness is real 🙂

Come smile to bring
that sound ..a ring
tingling a ling

Portrait called life

Pasted on a wall…that is blank..is that a life..always on hang ;)can I loose myself and break free and be myself..the real me..
I think..I should try at least 🙂 To put colors in life as I please.
Change the postures as many as can be..and relax with sizes and prizes that please.
Life is painted and erased with ease , come close and view portrait of life with me..can you see that smile not reaching eyes ..or that tears just blinked off to release…a shooting pain or surging fright..are you in dark ..are you in light.. sketch would be better than paint. waves on face are deeper than lines that erase..how will you dry me..in gloomy rains..tell me once again..

Wait for the yesteryears to relive

Under Repair :)… Broken :)) so we need to repair. But, seldom that is true. I think, heart can break only once, after that it remains broken..if you want to rejoin,,fine lines remain visible. Maybe, someone can come up with a solution, no crease no pain, apply and all those heart breaks disappear :))
Seriously, it is a huge problem, if this kind of failure leads to traumatic experiences in life. My friend had a crush on a girl, she is okay and moved on in her life, poor guy he is still waiting for her ! Sometimes, I wonder if he is okay or not. I mean, the girl obviously left, it is like he is waiting for the breeze to return, the rainfall to become clouds that float, the sun to return the circles ..It has been now 10 years..how long..will he wait..he is lost..totally..and now he has become a dead body moving like a zombie..only he doesn’t kill anyone..but you never know..when he visits us, we are a bit alert..my husband thinks we should never leave him alone, as he may commit suicide!
Why..people love those who will never love them back..we should think..what is our range..but I feel..heart never does understand these economic and social levels..just falls in love….too bad..

Alone but never lonely :)

Alone But Never Lonely… Solitude..a bliss for me. I like myself too much :)) I have lived this way..in a crowd or writing my thoughts..I am at peace with myself. Whenever, others come in my space..I feel the alarm inside my brain

ring..trrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggggggg!! Oh..people.

I love mostly everyone, who lets me. This is like a summon. I can step back and wait..to give you that much time to think and decide..do you want me ? If you do..then what is in your mind for me..am I your friend..your colleague..your partner..buddy..what am I to you..and then I take it from there. It does happen, that after sometime you may not like me anymore..get tired and bored ..then you must leave..no..I never push you away from me.

I only let my windows open and door is left ajar..you can smell the fragrance outside my personality..You can watch who passes by..my window of life. The door is never locked..anyone can walk in and everyone may walk out..I never stop..Never ….

I learned from life..to be happy with myself..I am not saying that others are not important..no ..no.Others are important..to love and respect. To trust and support..But they are not me…I am the naughty one..who does have a serious side too 🙂
I believe that each one has a role to play..or two.. life has manifold characters display before us..we change and attain those as per need or whim..this way we emerge as a different person each day…

I figure out my ways..I discuss my secrets with my heart and mind as a soul. Yes.. when alone I can not be lonely for I am deep in thought and feeling about those dreams that I had fought and got..and those I lost and forgot…